Friday Office Funnies

The Family Business

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”

The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see,” replied the father-in-law.

“Well then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”

“I hate office work,” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”

“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”

“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out.”

 

The Price

“Why did your boss jump out of the window?” the detective at the crime scene asked the secretary.

“I don’t know.” she sobbed. “My boss was always so nice to me. Two months ago he gave me a fur coat, last month a sports car and just today a diamond ring. Then he asked, what it would cost to be able to ravish me.”

“And what did you say to that?” asked the detective.

The secretary replied, “I just said, that the other men in the office always just gave me fifty dollars.”

 

Inspirational Office Slogans for the New Millennium – Part II

If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

If you think we’re a bad firm, you should see our rivals!

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings – they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity, probably has a scapegoat.

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.

We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!

If at first you don’t succeed – try management.

It’s only unethical if you get caught.

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